Some additional phrases to retire:

Its used most commonly to mean something like "fad" which is not what a meme is at all.

Sure, unlike all those "I'm sorry, but..." unpologies that get slung around so casually.

Seriously. I want to carry her with me always as a talisman against cynicism and bad vibes.

So sell the car and take the cash difference!

The victory lap! Oh YES! I love her and I want her to be my grandmother; she's freaking awesome and I bet holidays at her house are a blast, probably starting with Irish coffees at like 9am.

The flu vax is basic protocol for health workers. The work with immunocompromized people all day, every day. The risk to her is minimal to non-existent; the risk to her patients is as high as death. If she doesn't want to provide appropriate care to her patients - including not exposing them to a potentially fatal…

Nope, I was standing right there while he fixed the drink. This wasn't some weird slip-her-a-mickey situation, just that a) I don't normally drink liquor, b) it was whiskey + sugar, and c) I'd been drinking wine all afternoon & evening prior to that, and followed it up with some more. The two substances did not mix…

Sazerac — someone made a small one for me at a party two weekends ago, layered between the white wine I'd drunk before and afterwards and for the first time in my life (my 4oth birthday was the day before), mama blacked the fuck out. No whiskey cocktails will ever make an appearance in my drinking repertoire, ever…

The Boy Scouts.

On purpose, or did it happen to transpire on his property? A dead man was found in a barn on Big Bird's property in Connecticut, I'm sure you don't think he's a murderer or accomplice. Or maybe you do?

If you're really that anxious, buy an OTC pregnancy test to put your mind at ease.

Look at dat smiley face! Ahn!

Or, Bobby Fuller maybe...

YISSSS! My childhood bestie's family ate all kinds of spectacular junk food, while my family were whole-grain Moosewood Cookbook wielding hippie vegetarians. Nothing was more blissful than sleeping over at my friend's house and having Bisquick pancakes with fake "maple" syrup *and* brown sugar on them in the…

For what, happy childhoods and good relationships with parents?

I'm so terribly sorry your worldview is so loathsome, that must make for a pretty depressing life. Me, I have a great dad and lots of good memories of being danced around the house on his feet, among other things. Girls emulate their mothers, that is a thing that girls do. This little girl no longer has a mother to…

Im sorry for whatever happened to you, it sounds awful, but don't project your fucked up psyche onto the rest of us. Dads dance with their daughters, girls play with their mom's clothes and jewelry and makeup and hair things. Its what kids do and its cute and fun and people take pictures if it. That you look at a…

This is magical.

Some men molest their children therefore all pictures of men with their children make you think of incest? Repulsive.