“I think you’re confusing me with my brother.”

If my recollection of “The Road” is accurate, he soon will.

I just want to know how many other deli meats failed in the slime-frying trials before he settled on bologna.

When they offer you the chance to play against Bobby Portis with puffy mitts of any kind, you take it.

“You’re on the old side, but would y’all maybe want to stop by the Senate instead?”

Having fun is disrespectful to the troops.

Ceci n’est pas un Kinja.

A: Cutler.

If that’s the rule, he’ll never be allowed to leave the house.

“Whose Disgusting Baseball Writer Full Tiddies Are These?”

Candidate for the play-in game: http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/park-ridge/news/ct-prh-smolenski-representative-run-tl-0928-20170926-story.html

At my bachelor party, we dressed up like the Beverly Hillbillies, and got kicked out for farming tobacco and hog-calling.

“...In our kitchen, the pages of her newest book, Dinner: Changing The Game, has already been splattered with several years’ worth of sauce and oil...”

Did anyone else here participate in the hating of the Girls & Sports comic on ESPN’s Page2? That thing was unspeakably awful, and the comments section were gloriously angry.

Let’s say you’re a dumbshit loon hardcore Conservative. You and a few like-minded friends attend a Hillary Clinton rally. Someone calls you a dumbshit. Someone else calls one of your friends a dumbshit. Then another. Then a Hillary supporter tells the other liberal, “Shut up, dumbshit, she’s talking.” And so on.…

Dang, KingOfKong stings ‘Things, citing long-sung posting on Kang’s wang.

“Are You Smarter Than a Palin?”

Writing out a menu for the week — ours goes on the chalkboard wall next to the kitchen table — helps keep that plan on track.

Of course he isn’t. Jesús is the bullpen catcher.

A sort of repeated slapping sound coming from the NCAA offices, then?