I missed a big one today. I’ve got to learn from it and represent my family name better next week.

An almost-bear attack... on Boomsday? What is this pornographic world coming to?

Bill, it’s 140 characters per Tweet. Not 140 Tweets per thought.

Now that the conference has 200 teams, including 63 from South America, someone was bound to be forgotten.

In a related story: “Man interviews for job at Post Office; says if they ask too many questions he might ‘Go Postal’; does not get job”.

Fair point. If you don’t like mayo, then I endorse your ranch rejection. And I do try and keep it liquid enough to where it pours rather than glops.

Counterpoint: Homemade ranch dressing is both easy to make and delicious, and it has facilitated all sorts of raw vegetable consumption by my kindergartner.

Call it a Patriotism Robe and you’ll corner the market.

Not to mention interminable diatribes, and seeing armies/girlfriends where none really existed.

This was one of the darkest collections of customers in a long time. I’m going to need an hour of deer-and-bunny videos to clear out the sympathetic rage. And then I’ll grill the most perfect cross-hatch into a lunchtime chicken breast that you’ve ever seen.

I’ve switched to listening on the radio and I don’t miss the TV at all. Homer radio play-by-play guys have their own downsides, but still way better than the national network oafs. (Sadly, the national radio broadcasts kinda suck now, too.)

Doing it the Write-off Way.

Let’s say I have a friend. And this friend is married to someone who smoked plenty of pot in her younger days, but he has never smoked nor eaten it. He’s a happily square, middle-aged dad. Then he goes to Colorado for a vacation, and since it’s legal, why not?

You may want to check out the Kids [Whose Parents Let Them Run Wild] in Restaurants article over on Jezebel, and at least add an exception for Maine.

You get a whole hour?!

In a related story, Police Captain Renault of the city of Casablanca has fired the lieutenant in charge of carrying Renault’s sack of gambling winnings, on charges of corruption.

I’ve spoken to [experts on a subject] and I said, “[what is the issue with that subject]?” and they’ve said, “Mr. Trump, you have no idea [about that subject].

That’s completely fair. Being tall is fine. If you’re there before me, I’ll happily find somewhere else to stand with no hard feelings.

The most evil abuse of height I’ve seen was a 6’4” guy at a Portishead concert who rambled his way up toward the front. That was bad. But evil? He had also decided to wear a cowboy hat.

I’ll guess that Chef Mac in Mark Davis’s story was Charlie Trotter.