You are awesome. I need to find my Orson Wells standing ovation gif.

hot tip: if you want us to read your “leaving new york” thought piece you should include your soon-to-be-vacated apartment’s address, broker’s name and lease end date. also please indicate whether the building is wired for fios.

I wish I had this on a t-shirt. Even better, I’d like to send it to every privileged white person I know who is currently yapping away about how poor Bernie “never had a chance” and the Democrats should have come up with a better candidate. Yeah. They’re thick on the ground, aren’t they? Hillary Clinton may not have…

The sheer goddamned privilege of anyone who is considering NOT voting for Clinton* is just melting my fucking brain right now. You have a blanket opposition to war? I bet you’re not Jewish. You don’t care about what the RNC and DNC platforms say about gay marriage? I bet you’ve never tried to visit your partner in the…

Yah. I did so much stupid shit when I was 18 (I voted for Bush! and I’m black! that made no sense).

FINALLY UNGREYED ON THE SLOT, Y’ALL!

I’m a little more sympathetic now that I know he’s 18 and therefore absolutely a dumbass for a few more years.

How stupid can these people be?

... I mean, I like to believe that people aren’t irredeemably awful, so...

How much do you want to bet that the dude who said that is unaware of the fact that being impeached doesn’t make you stop being President? Like, he’s probably in his early-mid 20s and doesn’t remember the Clinton impeachment and thinks that somehow it actually did something to Clinton, when in reality all it did was…

Jason and his ilk are the reason I am fucking terrified of this election. Bernie fucking lost bro, you need to get over it and stop Trump FFS.

Voting for Trump on the assumption he’s going to be impeached? Alright.

Eff that. Like Bruce himself said - listen to his lyrics. There’s no believable way that any huge fan of Springsteen wouldn’t know his political leanings.

Used to work with a guy name Willie. Not William. Man was 54 years old.

Poor Bruce. All those politicians who have used Born in the USA demonstrating a fundamental misunderstanding of what the song is actually about. Must make him crazy. Like, at least listen to the lyrics before you blast it out at a rally.

If it was anyone else I might feel a little bit bad for them. It has to be a pretty sharp blow to have someone you so clearly admire personally hate you. But it is Chris Christie, so...

I guarantee that the only reason Bruce didn’t participate is that he’s touring in Europe right now. This was worth it for Oliver’s summary of Bruce songs though. As a big Bruce fan that just cracked me up (concert #13 in exactly one month!!).

This is my forever wish. I’ll settle for this instead:

I was really hoping Bruce was going to come on, look right into the camera and say “that means you, Chris Christie. I hate you.”

True. I live in a similar area. I once worked with a guy who was named Ricky and that was what it said on his birth certificate. It wasn’t even short for Richard.