She ages in hyperbolic space, where 30 is the major axis.

Every time I’ve read “angel hair” I’ve thought “pasta”.

Sooooo, her bio says she’s currently 29, which makes her 12 years of age in 1999, the year she says she lived alone in “the jungle with big spiders and poor little children with AIDS and, and, and . . . insert cliche here.”

A la Gwen Stefani.

I think a very tasteful boob job. It looks good. Not too much. Girlfriend was pretty flat before; she can afford it; I get it.

THOSE LEG TATTOOS!!!

....what’s weird to me is any outrage over Brinkley hosing somebody off. But if the homeowner wasn’t famous and had just shot the lady because she was “drunk” and “trespassing” this would not have made the news.

Her name might as well be Becky Smith.

Right? I laughed at her “who says I’m white? Who says I support Trump?” Girl, I think it’s a pretty fair bet.

The most hilarious part of all this is that it’s like these Grey’s Anatomy fans don’t even know who Shonda Rhimes is. Like is Shonda really gonna fire Jesse Williams for speaking out about social justice?? That’s about as likely as Donald Trump saying something intelligent. Ain’t gonna happen.

I always hoped we would find you!

This comment + your username = 💜

Damn you, DAMN YOU for putting this song in my head:

But did the woman ask them if they knew when Christmastime was at all? Because that’s the important question.

She came to bless the rains down in Africa, for sure.

I can’t speak for everyone, but my eyes began rolling when she failed to attach a name to any of the people she is displaying.

I see your “fuck your shit” and raise you an “I can’t even”

She deserves to be shit on for hitting EVERY SINGLE tone-deaf trope of white people visiting Africa.