Isn't it fun when people call you names for just being? Great piece.

The piece-of-shit old people couple is bad enough, but WTF 2nd-manager-dude??

If this man complains about your hair, I'd love to hear what he says about the ridiculous middle age white lady bouffant updos you see in Texas. (Probably nothing, because he's a racist asshole.)

That was the line that sold me on this missed connection too!

Trust me. I am from Cleveland

Turning down guys who can't take no for an answer on online dating is seriously the hardest thing (and usually ends with them getting reported and blocked). You don't even have to be subtle—- you can say, "Sorry, I'm just not interested in you" or "NO" and still get bombarded with messages for months and months. Then…

All at once I do not miss dating. Like at all. Forever and ever amen.

For FUCKS sake, assholes. "I don't like your coworker, so I've decided you shouldn't get paid." THATS LOGIC.

Sooooooooooo... they ate their whole meal, probably ran poor Miranda ragged (because they are dicks) and then, after being provided a service, refused to pay her for it? After getting $50 off of their meal from a Groupon? Holy shitsnacks, I want to punch something right now, but I'm in the office and that's…

Imagine some teen wanking off with the aid of this...mystical utensil...only to have his mother walk in. Put yourself in the mother's shoes, and ask yourself why your son has his penis stuffed into a dismembered pedal extremity.

Alright, which obscure audience is this aiming for...

So, yeah... I'm disturbed by this.

Wait, PAID administrative leave?

How to choose? Was it the guy who hogtied me with his socks (see my winning entry in the Awkward Sex Pissing Contest)? Was it the iron-worker who was a secret libertarian? Was it the drunk guy who demonstrated how he could come on command and then told me that he had no respect for how I earn a living? Was it either…

A Juggalo. I would elaborate but I don't really think that's necessary.

When it comes to the pricing on wedding dresses, everything is exactly as it seems. And I don't mean "the dress seems nice in the pictures," therefore it'll be nice IRL. More like, if the price seems too good to be true, then it is.

17 and still paralyzed - therefore, still a minor and reliant upon his parents - and says it was a lie. You know what, kid? You're good in my books because that takes a lot of guts.