If my mother didn't have an abortion, I wouldn't exist.

I was a junior in high school and was in the fall musical when I'd started dating another one of the dancers. The third week in, I was swamped with homework, soccer practice and rehearsals, so I only saw her after school on the days we had rehearsal and could only talk on the phone/AIM for a little bit. Monday through…

My abusive then-girlfriend (I'm a woman) was a month away from moving in with me when she told me that she was having "feelings" for someone else, a friend of hers. She said nothing had happened, but she was now doubting our relationship. Cue a month-long hellish ordeal where we break up, get back together, break up,…

Okay. So it's funny now, but at the time it was infuriating.

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

One day I overheard a girl yelling at a boy on the (pay)phone with the same name as my boyfriend. Being a one stoplight town, I was curious and asked her his last name. Turns out, she was yelling at her/my boyfriend. We hitchhiked to his house (with a super creepy dude) and upon knocking on the door, discovered he was…

The pathological liar ex (I have posted about him before) and I had a relationship built entirely on dancing, fights and sex. It took me forever to understand that he was cheating on me, and I accepted his increasingly wild stories about his "friend" who was just "really emotionally fragile right now" and who I kept…

Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.

This was not my proudest moment, but when I got dumped by a guy who had sworn eternal love just long enough to hook me and then stomp on my heart, I called a florist, had them cut the heads off a dozen long-stemmed roses and deliver the wrapped-with-a-ribbon box of stems to the asshole during a long business meeting…

Full disclosure: I am a vegetarian. Now, would I EVER say a single word about what others eat? Nope. If you are a grown ass adult- eat what you will and enjoy it. I do not mind a bit. I will even say things like "my but that does smell good." or whatever. But, you will never hear a single word from me about violence…

I'm very much anti-factory farming and pro-not being cruel to animals, but anytime I hear someone say that an animal "wants" something the rage center in my brain activates.

Some people turn vegan for ideological reasons and still miss the taste / texture of all the non-vegan food. Can you really blame them for that?

"Hi, yeah, I'm just calling to confirm that I'm getting a check for 94 million dollars that I'm obtaining totally legally. Yes, I'll hold. Okay. I'll wait while you transfer me. Hi, yeah, I'm calling about my check for 94 million dollars that isn't at all one bit suspicious. Oh you're not gonna mail it? Okay, so I can…

I absolutely don't condone what this woman did, but I do wonder, she must've been stressed beyond belief. Women are often left to undertake caretaking duties, and I think this is an extreme case where she simply couldn't take it anymore. If the American healthcare system was better and provided home care at an…

True story, my baby gave the middle finger during an ultrasound. It was right after my grandmother said, "I wonder if she can hear us!"

I feel like in general, if you become a surrogate it is best to be prepared to honour the parents' wishes should they want to abort due to a catastrophic birth defect.

So it began like an episode of Law & Order then.

Who calls the police when water is dropping from your neighbour's? Don't you call you neighbour or landlord?

I think the moral here is that no good comes of sexting your cousin.

And women can't go shirtless without someone shitting themselves, but this is okay.