Seriously, yo! I wish I had the money and linguistic skills to leave this shit-show of a country!

I read that book during my last semester of college! My blood and piss still boils, despite 5 years passing.

I can buy similar glass cups at Target or Walmart for like $2 a piece!

Si, si, si!

I want to star this a gazillion times!

Mayonnaise is good in moderation, Doris!

I’m a millennial who proudly uses Tide, Downy, Dawn, Cascade, Tampax, etc. Fuck that watery hippie shit!

When I was 20, my Meme (mom’s mother) got me plastered with boxed wine!

Please, don’t insult Sloth.

My mom is almost 53 with health problems and looks waaaayyyyy better than Mama June or Sanders! Same goes for my 60 year old aunt.

I would eat a handful of Bertie Botts Beans before I’d fuck Post Malone!

I worked with an old man who would adopt elderly dogs. Of course they’d all die within a few years!

I remember being preschool age and watching the medical shows on TLC! 

WTF!? 

My Meme, who would be 80 years old today if she was still alive, would be cool with this. I’ll never forget when my sister and I were telling her about the homophobic shit kids would say in school, and she was all “ what’s wrong with being gay?!”

I honestly thought she was younger than me....

You reminded me of the time I worked at McDickwad’s and had to serve an asswipe with a swastika tattoo on his neck! The stupid git apparently didn’t notice me and other Latino people worked there.

I’m an American peasant who has to buy the Ugg knock-offs at Payless Shoes or Old Navy.

My sunshade for my car is the Belcher family!

My mom likes iced tea and had an abortion!