Justin’s brother, 18, had sex with another girl at the house, just 14.

This is the ultimate trump card - Yes parents, you kind of did make a mistake in having me, and now that I’ve pointed it out to you, maybe you should get over yourself and your desires.

Newsflash: they are not responsible for your feelings on their decision to have children.

Never, ever take advice from a person who tells you “babies don’t need stability, they just love you.”

If millennials aren’t getting married PLEASE tell my mailbox and Instagram/FB feeds that. I’m so tired of looking at pictures of center pieces in banquet halls every weekend.

I want a shirt that says “fuck your tea kettle warmer.”

"Fuck your tea kettle warmer," is the greatest thing I have read all day. I am seriously contemplating turning it into my personal 'fuck you non-sequitor battle cry' for those days you just need to rage through.

The thing I’m most outraged by is that she MISSED A PIECE!!! IS THIS NOT INCLUDED IN HAIRSTYLING 101???

“I have a dream to go to Harvard Business School and one of these days I will do that... in my spare time”

GUYS KEVIN CALVEY IS ON KINJA!!!

Woody Allen movies are essentially Nicholas Sparks novels for pseudo-intellectuals (or for a better visual, Woody Allen movies are essentially Nicholas Sparks novels with hipster glasses on): they’re formulaic, predictable, enforce shitty sexist stereotypes, are a little squicky, take themselves far too seriously,…