Except bone density tests and dental exams show she was indeed a child. But you’re right that they did try to get her help...but I think they got her designated as an adult so they could leave her in the US when they went to Canada. Hopefully a real journalist will research the story and get the facts. The Daily Mail…

I agree. And "why" behind some things are completely unexamined. Monogamy and having a family are the unquestioned default on what you should strive for. People can't even tell you why those things are so important to them.

The issue of communicating nonverbally vs assuming people can read your mind is a complicated one. Sometimes it’s super obvious and anyone should know something’s off. But I’ve also dated enough girls (as a girl) to know there are a lot of girls that assume their partner should know exactly what they’re thinking and…

It’s not really coercion, no. And yup, if you can’t/dont/won’t say no then the issues are a lot worse than threesomes.

I feel like people are assuming that wants and needs always remain the same, and than Kutcher always knew monogamy wasn’t going to work for him. People’s emotional and sexual needs aren’t static, sometimes what you need 5 years into a marriage isn’t the same as what you needed before you got married. 

Yeah, if the person actually tries to say “no/I don’t want to” several times and gets steamrolled that’s one thing. If they do the passive-aggressive thing that too many people do (and way too many women), then saying “Cool/It’s fine” and hoping they pick up your subtle signals it isn’t isn’t the same thing

Thank you for doing all the heavy lifting here.

Only to a person who would rather be miserable than alone.

The real fact is that relationships change.  If it weren’t true, people wouldn’t get divorced.

I wouldn’t believe everything the parents say...

I entirely avoid monogamous people who are ‘willing to give non-monogamy a shot’ for me.

she was 8, then 11; one test was in 2010, the next in 2012.

I think you’re making a good point here and “coercion” may not be the right word, but there can absolutely be pressure.

We don’t seem to agree on how easy it is to dissolve a long-term relationship, but even putting that aside, say you’re in these dudes position: your partner is clearly hurt by the threesome/poly idea,…

This story, and Jezebel’s response, is so frustrating to me as an adoptive parent. The damaged adoptee is a harmful but widely accepted trope that this story and post are promoting. The fucking “parents” want to center themselves as victims after a black market adoption. They claim they didn’t ask questions of the…

I know a poly couple and they talked about it A LOT before they dove in. And they still talk about it to make sure theyre okay and on the same page. I think it depends on how fast the person who started the convo wants to open the relationship. Then if they completely disregard or argue with their partner's…

Is it necessarily coercion? I don’t know if we have this approach to other things. I know several people who went into relationships, for example, with a “no kids, no thank you, not for me” attitude. Well, a couple years pass, they change their minds, and are like “okay, yeah I’ve decided I do want kids, and like…

Hot take - she is a child that it turns out they don’t want. They rent “Orphan” and are like - THAT’S IT! Get her set up in an apartment and leave before the sun comes up that day. They just walked out and left it all behind them.

The Jezebel summary is very misleading because it is all the parent’s side of the story and doesn’t mention the stuff at the end of the Daily Mail article that contradicts everything the woman says. An other earlier story also claims that medical doctors said she was either 8 or 11.

Orphan remains my greatest moviegoing experience. It was just a so-so thriller, but at the big reveal a tween/early-teen girl sitting down the row from us stood up and shouted ESTHER GOT TITTIES at the top of her lungs. It was incredible and probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in public.

I’m jealous. I changed jobs this spring to one with a slight commute (compared to two minutes in old job) and longer hours. I leave for work in the dark and 2/3 of the year get home in the dark. Plus, I’m the rebel slacker of the office who doesn’t do 15 hour days three to four times a week when being paid for eight…