sasmall
sasmall
sasmall

The Katt bit is a favorite. I often think FUCK THEM G*DDAMN LIGHTS whenever someone lights a candle that isn’t embedded in a baked* good.

Hey, breaking ties in the Senate is hard work...!

I like how this phrasing makes Pence sound like an extremely uncool stepdad.

“A penny saved,” bro.

I didn’t even know 2028 was an election year till I read your article.

Your [cherished female relative] says different.

Truly timeless.

That’s a crime against breakfast, though.

You’re better than this, hecklers.

I’ve seen old photos of my parents in embarrassing outfits which they could chalk up to the fashion of the times. Russ will have no such excuses for his kid.

[takes long, hard look in mirror]
[becomes sad]

Wasting it, looks like.

I know GIF requests are rarely honored, but somebody get me a damn GIF of my man’s angry sway.

(Please.)

And it seems like nobody ever says “play better defense on the last shot.”

this totally sounds like I’m getting defensive and seeking ally cookies, and I’m not!

Sounds like you screwed-over those POC real good because they didn’t recognize it was all about you.

“The Clippers just left too much time on the clock,” said at least one person who is paid to talk and/or write about sports.

Same, except it was my arms. SO EXCITED RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWW.