See, I always thought he looked like a vampire. I guess we can all at least agree that he’s “undead.”

BONERS.

I think it’s self-loathing mostly.

You have kind eyes.

Always high pick truthers.

[goes back to the tape] HOLY S**T YOU’RE RIGHT.
Better to be pitied than actually loved, I guess?

Carol is dumb. Don’t be like Carol.

If only.

You mean, before the recording industry started...?

They’d have to be some short-ass generations, then.

Who has the time to make 7 sock puppet accounts? Geez.

We’ve seen too many generations fired up for about 5 minutes and then there is nothing more. Prove to us that you are different. We’ll love you for it.

Pro tip (unless you already know): watch the headwoman’s shoulders when they say “THE Solar Company!” in their usual TV ad. Me and my buddy have been laughing for around three years straight, basically.

Oh, if only.

Thing is, all these folks decided awhile ago that they don’t like Cameron Newton, and now they (think they) finally have the proper rationale to justify it on the back end. You, on the other hand, are trying to have a rational discussion. They’ll just keep moving the goalposts till someone gets tired of responding.

Do you mean “Harvin Marrison”?

It’s only not funny if you’re not smart enough to get the humor. It is extremely subtle and requires an above-average intellect [...]

99 percent of the references the SportsCenter anchors toss in are execrable, but that is fucking gold right there.

I take it you have the carpal tunnel now.