Pictured: Lynch (left) with a self-important sportswriter

I will probably forget having read this, but more importantly, I did laugh, so +1 for you.

Yeah, if it was really part of his job, they would eventually terminate him for not doing it. That would never happen.

(This username is the best. Is there a C3POB/GYN in the picture...?)

I mean, it's called being a bartender, not "Bar-Tinder," amirite?

Jesus. People suck.

Hayyyy, you galsssssss!

Puh-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe.

Fantastic recovery after the first eight words.

"C'monnnn...I'll be your best friend!"

You're not; but you're not supposed to feel sorry for these journos either.

Hey, man: handjobs are a robust industry.

WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

I suspect Murphy would be an unpaid intern in that scenario.

I can't tell you how many neighbors have gotten jumped by insurgents on this block.

I'm really sorry that happened to you.

Am I wrong for thinking he could be mad about something else...?

Let this person know that you know that they're biting your style.

Thanks for the Sunday heartache, Rhymes-with-jerk.