Stop. Don’t. Come back.

We literally are a factory for the world’s worst jingoists and the world’s most entitled, bossy, violent tourists. Training Americans to be a loud, attention-seeking émigré or an even worse holidaymaker is the industry that drives our war machine- and cargo shorts-based economy.

I have an opportunity to go to Israel for a few months and study with my favorite teachers over there, and that’s where I’m going to go and probably move somewhere there and study with my favorite teachers

I do feel great hearing this news, though.

This is essentially John Goodman’s internal dialogue in The Big Lebowski. Fucking Donny, man. You know he blames himself for the heart attack because all he wanted was for that little idjit pipsqueak to shut.the.fuck.up and give the Dude and him some private time. He didn’t want him to die, though.

Mayday is for the socialists; the watered-down US version is an excuse for pissed-up shitheads to bully boxstore cashiers on Monday afternoon and to annoy their neighbors all weekend by screaming WOOH! into the wee small hours.

How many fucking times are dudes just going to grope her in public like we can’t see them?

“the collective evidence [about pedopepperoni, not NEO-LIBERAL RED-BAITING WITCHHUNTS!!1!] is too much to ignore.”

I know this is not you

There’s also a reason why American cartoonists thought American children would find the rape-skunk funny.

It’s definitely sexy, and I appreciate / am envious / am inspired that the younger generation is embracing high waists, which emphasize all manner of tummy beautifully and are, for me, anyway, infinitely more comfortable besides.

Take my privileged white male, please!

We Americans sure are weird about our mammalian traits.

Since racism only lives in bones, we’ll never Know For Sure until long after they’re dead. Checkmate, libs!

Didn’t kill her when he had the chance? Mom sounds like she was rooting for that one.

I’m amazed at the selective self-control here: abuses wife behind closed doors, but withstands temptation to start public tweet-screaming about FAKE NEWS!! !1

Compost them. Goddamnit people, compost them. Eat a richie, you’ll last a week or two. Compost them, you’ve got yourself something to grow tasty shit in.

Reality hurts, snowflake.

Women are gamers, too? Women belong to many categories. Being female is not a hobby or profession or something you need to work at.