I really read it as “The Phantom Menace” at first and got pretty confused for a moment.

Desk pop!

To illustrate the point, here is a screenshot from CNN.com’s front page right now. I’m sure you will note what they did here.

Nah, they’ve had 30+ years to try to get better and haven’t.  Fuck them into the earth.

See, that could be reasonably done, but it would be a sequel rather than a remake.

Surely it’s about time for another retelling of the Robin Hood story!

“That’s the state of the major American cities and why I vow to never sit foot in any of them.”

There’s a great line from, of all places, Mad Max: Fury Road that I think applies very well to his line of thinking: “You are relying on the gratitude of a very bad man.”

I suppose it leaves him that much less time for writing, which is an overall good thing.

Nope!  I definitely am laughing my ass off too.

Same.

Yes, I’m sure the extremely rural Trumpist used it in a totally innocent and non-racist manner.

Yeah, and I’m concerned it may have awakened an improbable fetish.

FINALLY someone says the correct answer(s). Jesus fucking Christ.

Or!  Wait until after the wedding - gotta gut it out until then - and at some point corner the MIL alone and give her a Liam Neeson talk.  Low, calm voice, describing with great specificity why she is henceforth never to talk that way to your wife again.

My family drives to Michigan quite often from the Chicago area, and I always lament entering Indiana and celebrate leaving it, while it’s exactly the other way with Wisconsin.  Glad to hear we’re not the only ones.

“I had one friend who had a baby and tried using cloth diapers, since disposable diapers are a horrifying blight upon the global ecosystem. He and his wife lasted roughly four days before going directly to Pampers.”

Hey, I didn’t know we were friends! 

Getting completely shitfaced.

This is so sad that I can’t even properly poke fun at it.

LISA NEEDS BRACES