I can’t picture Trump being the client that trusts his attorney to do the job. He’s got to be the guy that calls/tweets to them thirty times a day.

“If you don’t have a gun and the intruder does, you’re dead 100% of the time”

This, given life:

You’re right. That’s exactly what those idiot Trump supporters sound like when they literally say anything to try to make it look like Trump isn’t lying when he clearly is.

You’re out of the greys? Jesus christ next you’re going to tell me we elected a reality show host to be President.

“Local area man found dead in his home. Crime scene investigators have determined that the victim was shot while charging a home intruder with a ninja sword. Victim’s neckbeard, while unusually thick, was insufficient to stop the gunfire.”

Your username isn’t looking good.

I wouldn’t waste your time with the OP. He’s a troll. One of the many incarnations of TomatoFace. Second result in a search of his name tied Dirk van Dooren to tomatoes.

This impassioned stanning for Applebees has made my morning.

r/iamverybadass

Pence thinks Jesus talked to him.

Counterpoint: His inclusion in the series finale was AMAZING and, quite frankly, it was fitting that he was only featured for a little bit. He had been absent for quite some time, and the day was Dwight’s. It was wonderful, even if I agree with you that the lion’s share of the last 2 seasons was dreadful.

Is it weird I want a buddy show with Jameela Jamil and Hannah Simone where they’re both alternately the straight person and the comic relief?

Jason Alexander sings the theme song or get the fuck out.

That jacket/shirt combo should have been warning enough.

So, to translate: “I’m a Republican because I have untreated PTSD.”

Yeah, thanks, but I’m sticking with my Betamax!

This is a terrific self-own that I will always* remember.