Never too early in the afternoon to be completely shitfaced, apparently.

I accidentally ungreyed him, but the silver lining is that more people get to see his idiocy, I suppose.

Look at this tiny flower who is scared of old ladies.

If absolutely nothing else (and I have great confidence in our country’s ability to do absolutely nothing), maybe let’s starting screening potential police officers to weed out the ones who are terrified by 66-year-old women with baseball bats.

What if someone paid you $130k to tell that lie, though? That’s my new favorite theory about this - that the payment wasn’t to hush up an affair, it was to go along with the story.

Ah, the famed poet William Zabka.

At the moment I can’t remember if that was what I had to do in the book, or the movie, or both. It’s been a wild few years.

I’m afraid my duties as Deputy Director of Intelligence at the CIA were keeping me far too busy for videogames at the time.

I once discovered that the President had covertly and illegally authorized a series of tactical strikes against the Colombian cartels to get revenge for a billionaire friend of his that they killed, and I ended up having to rent a helicopter to go in and try to extract our servicemembers after he and the CIA chief…

This seems like a guy who knows what he did in the past, knows his moment in the spotlight is inevitable, and is trying to preemptively claim some changed behavior.

That is definitely part of it.

This is a truly tremendous amount of effort to go to in order to appear stupid. I’m honestly impressed.

“Did someone disrespect you? Fuck you, shoot them. Did someone take your parking spot? Fuck you, shoot them. Did someone turn your offer for a date down? Fuck you, shoot them!”

With what? 

Then by all means, mentally insert the “being” in there so that you can grasp what anyone else reading that already has.

How have so many other countries managed to eliminate mental illness so that they don’t have remotely the mass shooting problem we do?

You see, ordinarily that part says “Stay Calm” or “Keep Calm” or what have you. This says another thing, perhaps to imply that keeping calm has done exceedingly little and perhaps another approach should be considered.

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Oh for fuck’s sake.

Do go on.

I still maintain that the Grandmaster just took a few years off from grandmastering to visit Earth, went in disguise, and ended up acting in a bunch of movies.