You know, me too. They were born into a weird situation, let’s see how they handle it.

Team of Lovers! Ha! And it’s true, Rick Perry is known for his oral skills.

They have to tell him he’s handsome and a good boy and affectionately ruffle his hair and diaper his enormous behind and generally give him the love mommy and daddy didn’t otherwise...

A Beyoncé homebirth will not resemble a civilian homebirth. She probably bought the hospital and brought it home.

I know, right? Let’s unclutch the pearls a bit, shall we?

I’m going to say there is definitely enough Carter family money to make that particular home birth perfectly safe.

My thoughts exactly. Then again, this is Beyoncé, só for all we know she might have assembled a fully functioning OR in a spare bedroom.

The jerk store called and they’re running out of you!

Charles Manson never laid a finger on a single person.

What?

Most nudists go to the beach so they can dangle their scrotum mere inches from the book I’m pretending to read while hoping to get a glimpse of someone under 50 sunbathing in the nude before finally giving up.

I was sure there must be, so I googled Boobs in California gifs assuming I’d get something from UKS. I got lots of gifs...they were not that, nor were they things that I should have looked at on my work computer. I really should have seen that coming.

Can we get a petition going to change it to Morristown?

Yeah fuck him, but fuck youself some too you might be so up tight. Good grief.

I strongly doubt that she will get anything from this except for sympathy *for herself*. This is not normal teenage behavior. Normal teenagers do fucked up things. They bully, they tease, they point out flaws and they even casually tell people to “kill yourself” (although the internet has taught us that sadly, adults…

If you’re truly a fan of Seinfeld, you know not to hug him.

She’s a despicable sociopath. End of story.