“Unfortunately I don’t know why Gorilla Glue doesn’t have a solution”

For the same reason Nike doesn’t have a solution for people who choke while trying to eat their shoe.
Or SpaghettiO’s for trying to eat the product through the can.
Or Listerine for snorting their mouth wash.
Or Chevron for trying to drink the gas.... 

Okay, I'll change it to "romance" or "affection" or whatever you like, and I'll still tell you to knock it off.

She chose to keep on digging by refusing immediate medical treatment because she didn’t like how long it would take, grifted her “plight” for thousands of dollars, and is looking to sue the manufacturer for her stupidity.

Have you SEEN the toilets that always pop up in my dreams? I’d rather use a port-a-potty at a Motley Crue concert.

finally the 15 minutes are up!

Being childless can be not a choice. Infertility happens. Having a child outside of rape is *always* a choice. Somebody put a penis in someone’s vagina. That is a choice that was made. There are no accidental situations where sperm just beamed their way into a uterus.

I think it is pretty obvious that I was referring to the Whedonverse, but whatevs, being male you thought it was all about you too... Honestly I am at the point of being disdainful of men and their self-serving thoughts. “But not me! And if me, then you too!!” So. Not. The. Point.

Remember that the reason Republicans won’t vote to convict Trump, even when he sent a mob to murder them, is the same reason they enabled him his entire presidency: Fundamentally they agree with him. They may not agree with his tone, or the particular words he uses, mostly because it makes it more difficult for them…

After EVERYTHING we’ve been through, you’re telling us not to DRINK?

Step 1: If you see a toilet in a dream, always trust it. 

How to Stop Waking Up to Pee

This one. right here.  I could drink a gallon of water and sleep through the night from my teens through most my 30s.  Turned 40 and it became two times a night

All of those things are a result of choices your parents made.

Fine, there are bad times and worse times to have a kid.

No, there are no “good times” to have a kid.  Just times people delude themselves into thinking are “good”. (SPOILER ALERT!  They aren’t.  You’re just great at self-delusion if you believe that is all).  

Also:

Advice like this is why there are so many struggling parents.

If he’s going to be this lazy, then they should have just had Randy Rainbow come out and give the opening defense. He wouldn’t have made a better case, but his presentation would have been fabulous.

He should have called...

Kill one of my furry family members and your gonna get a visit from Vittorio from Naples.