I mean, that. But also just a federal government thing. If you don’t work for the DOD or DOJ, it’s essentially like ‘fuck you, no money!’ and things like buildings and structures, HVAC, water systems etc, don’t get fixed until they are actively exploding. And even then, maybe not. We didn’t have working toilets or…

Theoretically a ‘cup’ of coffee is 6 oz. I have mugs that range from 8oz to 16oz, and my coffee mug for travel is 18oz.

And don’t forget eradicating guinea worm!

I’d probably be unable to form words if I ever met Obama. I’ve seen him at live speeches a number of times (unfortunately normally at work, which means I can’t be quite as excited as I would like to be). Those kids are bouncing off the walls.

Seriously.

Now now, that’s quite unkind to Bo and Sunny.

I follow his now ‘retired’ official photographer on instagram (and you should too @petesouza) and it’s pretty much a regular sanity nostalgia tour. Souza’s descriptions of the scenes and taking the photos help too, but the photos themselves just are simultaneously comforting, and like a knife in the gut.

I wear stays more often than a corset, but I was here to chirp up too.

I was like ‘ok, yeah, general statement’ and then ‘blame satan’

I speak English and German. British accents are practically physically impossible, since my brain is like ‘ok, well, it’s not German, so it must be up front’ But then goes ‘but it’s not really English, so it MUST be German, so it goes to the back’.

The Queen at 90. Possibly still on netflix?

This is my dog’s reaction to cooked asparagus.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting over here with $70 worth of the damn fanciest meat filled wet dog food that my mom bought Buster for Christmas.

Oh no! Dogs CAN live without meat—albeit not necessarily thrive. Kitty Cats have to have meat! It’s not an option!

I should have ‘Better Living through Chemistry’ tattooed on my forehead.

I have this conversation with my husband, but also other men all the damn time:

It’s so stupid. And frustrating. The best thing I can offer is religious checks ever six months, do not miss a goddamn one, because as soon as you do, you go from just needing a filling to needing a tooth taken out.

I love it. Love it love it. But I’m also a European history dork dork, so it’s a fun little quiz to see what is and isn’t there, what I did and didn’t know. Plus clothes and pretty people.

I ride the el every day for work, and I’d take most small children on there than 70% of the adults. I’ve never watched two babies have a knock out, throw down, cursing, racist fight. Or watched a toddler try to light another person on fire with a lighter.

...what the heck.