I’d be sad about Alton Brown too.

I also feel Anthony Bourdain would have owned up to any shitty behavior as such. He’s been pretty upfront about his behaviors over the years and his efforts to, well, not be an asshole junkie.

I can only imagine what sort of horror these things are for the employees. Everything is extra sticky...and green...and time consuming.

The coffee shop in college had that creme de menthe and it was about as close as one could get. But yeah, there’s something particular about the starbucks peppermint syrup.

Hey, better late than never!

But if I gave that person espresso, coffee, even just with cream they would go ‘oh no, that’s gross!’

I cannot abide McDonald’s coffee. If I have thoughts I might be somewhere coffee less, that’s when the aeropress comes trotting along with in a bag. Hot water can be obtained in even the most ridiculous of situations. Tolerable coffee cannot.

Hey Jezzies, any of you work for the National Park Service?

Which is fine. Like, you want coffee flavored dessert. That’s cool. Coffee flavored desserts are cool. But don’t be like ‘I LOVE coffee, I can’t get through a day without it!’ when you’ve gotten a 7 pump vanilla caramel macchiato that isn’t even a freaking macchiato.

The bottled drinks seem gross.

Oh my goodness that sounds delicious.

I go to starbucks in two situations: 1) when there is no possibility of anything else that is OK coffee, 2) it is peppermint mocha season, because for whatever reason their peppermint syrup is different and way more pepperminty than any other coffee shop and peppermint lattes are essentially sugary crack for me.

It’s so stupid. I’m also allergic to coconut and I’m like ‘oooh, neat body/face/make up thing!’

He’s just fucked. I have bleepin’ perfect dental hygiene and my teeth just fucking fall out of my head at random. You just count down the days until they are either all fake or all filled and there’s nothing left to do but get dentures.

Hair is a great sun barrier! Think about it, your scalp only gets burnt where your part is (if you’ve ever been so unlucky to forget to put sunscreen on your part/not wear a hat). Hair is a great sun barrier! However, sun can damage the hair that is ontop of the skin that isn’t getting damaged. But you know, you can…

The visual image you created for this is pretty damn fabulous.

We also joke about how Buster is sad the he lost his corgi designation. Without it we would never have found him on petfinder and he’d never have gotten to be the Dog of Leisure (tm). But yep. Fell in love no matter the breed attached.

ehhhhhhhhhhhh

I knew he was going to say something stupid. He had previously be on the phone in the store yelling about how he didn’t have any money to go out to restaurants and how he was a jew so he “didn’t want to buy any fucking christmas presents”. But he stood super close right behind me at the check out and put down three…

I’m envious. My last old man interaction was at the state store where a guy tried to put $300 of whiskey with my purchase and then when I balked went ‘your husband won’t notice when he goes over the bills anyway, little lady’.