You know, the advances they've made in the flavor of decaf has been staggering!

Simple solution. Mandate all new aircraft be delivered covered in steak knives. Hit a bird no one cares, plus cool new racing stripe.....

Yes, humans have a right to fly from one flyover state to another to visit aunt so-and-so in Toledo, OH. If birds have wings and can actually fly, well, that's just too bad for them. They must die. There is no other way to handle this "problem" of animals who live in the skies so that we can occasionally get in a…

Yup. Falconry and border collies could do a lot of good here.

JFK does, and it seems to work a hell of a lot better than this.

Charlie: You really can't, and I'm not saying I agree with it. It's just that bird law in this country—it's not governed by reason.

Unrelated: United now offers free "chicken" in-flight meals.

Pest poison needs to be humane. If it isn't, it's substandard. I'm not saying this as a PETA nutjob or anything; I'm saying this as a rural guy with a lot of experience dealing with pests. It's so easy to get the job done without making the animal suffer unnecessarily, that you have no excuse not to.

Of course the avitrol website is going to say their product is humane.

That plane that landed in the Hudson River back in 2009 was forced down because it was struck by a bird.

I don't think anyone is questioning the necessity, just the methodology.

Did you ever want to fly on United?

"But critics say that the use of Avitrol — which is banned entirely in several states..."

I've also seen them use air cannons to scare them off with a loud bang every once in a while. In fact, FLL has one at the end of the runway and controllers can fire it on demand if birds are near the runway.

Been around Houston Hobby? Even the birds know to stay away.

Texas you are a very weird state and have many people that are annoying.

It's totally unnecessary, though. Most airports don't kill their birds. They just use things like noisemakers and even falconers to scare them off.

They easily could've done what other airports have done and hired a company that uses raptors to fly around the facility and drive other birds off. That's what they do at JFK. Other airports also employ dogs to drive birds off the grounds.

Several passengers interviewed said the bird deaths were the "most pleasant" part of the entire United experience.

This is good, maybe then I won't constantly be cut off by some dick driving a half mph faster than another truck who thinks he MUST pass. On the other hand...my brother has driven a truck for 20+ years. Autonomous trucks take away jobs from people like him. So...I suppose I am torn on this.