No, teachers are right, real life is so much worse. It's terrible how I work from my couch a lot and, when I am at work, have a private office where I can close my door and do whateverthefuck. I also HATE the part about how I get to drink wine to relax after work if I want. Oh, and how I never have homework. And…

Mmmm, just reading your post makes me want to go to bed. I love bed.

Your anecdote is nice, but it doesn't rebut study after study showing that teens' circadian rhythms program them to fall asleep late and wake up late.

Lol! Friday night I was absolutely whipped from a crazy week so I went to bed at 9 and slept until 7. I LOVE BEING A GROWN ASS WOMAN!

One time I (ACCIDENTALLY) vomited on a St. Bernard and responded by weeping and apologizing while I hugged his giant, puke-covered neck. Your story is better . . .

Come onnnnnn.

Did you ever drink at Ceres for their 4-8pm happy hour? Full glasses of straight booze with a can of pop on the side. *shudder*

They should. They are. That doesn't stop the decision itself from being ridiculous.

"I love you, but you're going to burn in hell for eternity unless you deny who you truly are." :)

I'll agree that leafy green salads usually suck. That's why in college I invented the no-lettuce salad. No leafy greens allowed! Only other, more delicious vegetables, seeds, eggs, nuts, etc.

You're a dick face.

Also - "She's not even that good looking. I don't know why everyone thinks she is so hot."

You beat me to it. He probably tore off his own handcuffs in a fit of Reefer Madness(TM) to shoot himself in the back. I mean in the chest.

We have to cook up a mixture of ground beef and bacon for our dog to eat while we are away. He gets so anxious he won't eat but he CANNOT RESIST the beef and bacon mixture.

No, I was referring to actual outcomes. Legislation. Litigation. Things like that.

I don't take a bath to get clean. I take it because it's MAGICAL. If I'm dirty and I want to take a bath, I'll take a quick shower first. Then I grab a bottle o' wine, light some candles, drop a fizzy bath ball from Lush into the water, put on Bill Burr's podcast, and soak for an hour. Mmmmmm.

According to google JLO has had marriages that lasted as little as 8 months and 13 months. So something around that time frame, I'm thinking.

Yeah, other than the all caps, this didn't seem very conservative to me.

And pronounce! Pess . . im . . i .. ppo . . po . . ta . . .mus.

Are you married? If not, then yes, you are a whore. A biiiiig old whore who likes whoring around.