I only got to the second one (srsly, so long), but I'm sad if you legitimately only care about sex the first time (or few times?) you speak to someone of the opposite sex. Like . . . the first conversation you have with every woman is boring because, regardless of topic, you could give two shits about what she's…

"If they are willing to not talk about doing gay things . . ." What does that MEAN? Do you think homosexual men are asking for the right to talk about gay sex during boy scout meetings? Who would talk about sex at a boy scout meeting? If you were a scout leader would you walk into a meeting and say, "I'm straight!…

Well, most molestation of minors is done by family members, so keep her away from grandpa this holiday season, I guess.

Are you interested in children of whatever gender you are attracted to? I'm a 29-year-old straight woman and, oddly enough, I do not find myself attracted to young boys!

Are you saying that a gay scout leader would show up and mention who they are banging to a group of young boys?

Well since The Girl Scouts are a pretty inclusive, progressive organization (especially when compared to Boy Scouts), it's entirely possible that could happen.

Yes! I was watching basketball recently and commented that NFL players are universally hotter than NBA players. Maybe this was not always true . . .

I feel her. I used to (1) be embarrassed that I was "too skinny" and (2) have a muffin top. AT THE SAME TIME. B/c my goddamn pants were too small.

WOAH WOAH WOAH. I didn't get out of bed this morning looking for a fight but I cannot believe I just found someone knocking the Yoop.

This is why I always carry a bowling pin in my purse.

I'm at the "I'm ready to have kids . . . oh god what am I doing? I'M RUINING MY LIFE" stage and I'm writing ALL of this down.

Haha, I'm sorry. I have no vested interest in this conversation but I'm a dick and I couldn't help it. I'm also a loser so I'm STILL high fiving myself for the joke, 6 minutes later. "Good one, bro!"

Maybe you're like a McRib, and your ribs are actually made out of barbecued meat. That would explain it.

When I was an awkward teenage girl I used to sit in my bedroom, looking at pictures of headless, handless mannequins, and lament my stupid, gross head and hands. Oh how desperately I wanted to be beautifully headless and handless like those beautiful mannequins!

I don't understand what this lady's chubby hand has to do with the discussion.

Ha! I do that as well. Except I do pervy comments instead of kitty emojis . . .

You can buy car horns at auto supply stores and they're actually easy to install. I'm an idiot about that kind of thing and I did it with a youtube video (my car came with an embarrassing little squeaky horn). I'm guessing if you went online you could easily find some crazy loud horn to hook up. If I still lived in…

And you know this . . . how?

Go out and meet some people, man. This alpha/beta stuff is indicative of someone who spends more time on the internet than real life . . .

When a man says, "Women don't like . . . " it's usually followed by something so absurdly untrue it's either sad or funny.