We are all General Kelly.

I went through a period of time in my teens when I had a weird crush on James Woods. Reading this, I guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t anywhere near his orbit. What a disgusting person he is and what a wonderful op-ed by Amber Tamblyn.

please excuse me...i have something, maybe everything, in my eye.

Or, I AM JOAQUIN PHOENIX!

As a very young Gen Xer, please keep up the good work.

Counterpoint: No, they do not.

But Mama, that’s where the fun is!

How do they know people are buying those tickets for Amy Schumer? If I still lived in the NYC area, I’d be jumping at the chance to see Keegan-Michael Key in a Steve Martin play!

as this is the internet, i suspect by this time next year we’ll all be driving down Freeway McRoadFace.

I’m flying tonight for the first time since I purchased my Switch, so I’m gonna live out a Nintendo commercial and go deeeeeep into Zelda on the plane. I will feel so cool.

Sorry but this is a horseshit opinion. Coke Zero tastes a lot different from Diet Coke, it’s sweeter and has that spicy, slightly citrusy flavor to it like Coca-Cola whereas Diet Coke does not. (The “base formula” of Coke Zero is the original Coke formula whereas the base formula of Diet Coke was and is the New Coke…

Eh, I once got caught giving someone a blowjob in broad daylight in a parking garage (inside a car), and I was not a particularly rebellious kid and was very fearful of authority figures. It was honestly the most discrete place we could come up with, and we both had our judgement clouded. I actually convinced myself…

Or just tell your kid that you and your spouse have sex in the house all the time and kill it for them forever.

How fucking conceited and oblivious do you have to be to type that and hit SEND? Do white people have to insert themselves into everything?

Y’know what? Yes. Yes I would be okay with my kid having sex in my house. Provided that I don’t have to hear it, that she engages in safe(r) sex, that it’s consensual, and that I’ve met the person before and approve of him/her being in my house without an adult around. I would rather she have a safe place to do it…

Any list that doesn’t involve a sidekick beating the holy hell out of a Dalek with a baseball bat is invalid

“let”? - NOPE. But my partner and i still go out on the town fairly regularly, and there’s always LESS-traversed public parks and parking lots. They’ll have to figure it out just like i did. 

And still not ginger!!!