I’d prefer something in the Hitman mold, but that’s just because I want more Hitman

This was not about being edgy

how to fix twitter...

Continually write bills exempting agency A, or institution B from future shutdowns until we just stop paying Frank whenever the president doesn’t get his way.

from an initial 0.2 in (3.85 mm), to just 0.1 in (3.15 mm)

I was at least 300% positive this article was going to be about a horrible spree of used condoms found in chopped tomato cans

true to our motto: “Only the best is good enough”

That tweet has just wrecked everything else dril has ever said

I won’t

A white Infinity FX hit me on my motorcycle earlier this month and left the scene too!

That New Gawker bag is the only good thing to come out of this...

If an RDO player has killed a bunch of folks and committed crimes, their blip will be darker in color and easier to spot from a distance.

Soooooo were there other body types there?

Jesus Christ, man - put a warning on it:

We all know how this ends.

Yeah, but isn’t it a little weird that she’s embracing the generalization and using it for a lower-than-the-ground-fruit joke?

The MTA isn’t public - it’s a public-benefit corporation - which is really the worst combination of public and private entities you could imagine.

I’ll die by my bad takes:

Also: finally buy a torque wrench