You gotta out the ball over the white part of the plate

Regarding the general decency of Drew Brees, it’s worth noting that a lot of your all-time great QBs are scumbags.

It’s weird that she has now started eating Ranch with every meal and putting it on ice cream...

The little laugh by the girl really cinches it for me. Damn.

Are you hiring?

“I fuckin’ love Dunkin guy! What the hell are you talkin’ about?”

Are you hiring?

Cold: worse than convenience store donuts
Hot: one of the best things in the world.

The sour cream are okay, but are basically a Little Debbie Donut Stick.

I had my worst employee request to work from home and my answer was ‘When you can prove you can work from work, then you can work from home’.

Yeah, that’s like a girl telling you she loves you and you responding with “thanks, babe.” You have to return the sentiment man!

I dip my krispy kreme dougnuts in ranch and then wrap them in Hawaiian pizza.

You are incorrect. Krispy Kreme is the way doughnuts should be and everything else is sad, boring, and the leading cause of suicides in the US.

I mean, Krispy Kremes aren’t cake donuts. Krispy Kremes are yeast donuts.

Dunkin’ makes cake donuts.  

Right? I mean... someone found Bob Hope funny at some point. 

I also think that. Seinfeld wanted to attribute young people not laughing to them being too sensitive. Maybe people just don't really find hacky material about floppy hands looking gay and French to be all that hilarious. 

Personally, I don’t buy the “too PC” argument. I think it’s more to do with the kids on campus today have all been born after Seinfeld went off the air. Different generations find different things funny. 

You just know he gave himself that nickname, too.

This just confirms the age-old adage:

The thing is that schools don’t give a fuck what the athletes think or want.

I’m absolutely an asshole. I just am not a “blame a teenager for dying after his coaches ran him into the ground” asshole.