I lack a whisk and white sugar and patience, so I used light brown sugar and fork and beat it until it sort of a foam. Still was pretty good.

Dont worry. When the snails take over well release the lizards to eat the snails, then the snakes to eat the lizards, then the gorillas to kill the snakes. When winter comes around the gorillas will all die. Nature is a beautiful thing.

Aargh! The town is infested with mice! Nasty!

As long as someone isn’t trying to pull into the spot on the other side it is totally fine.

I’m always amazed by the binary thought process that seems prevalent today - If you’re “this”, you cannot be “that”.

They routinely republish existing material, especially around the holidays.

“There was a time when every manufacturer’s bread and butter was the three-box upright sedan. And for decades that sedan served as the basis for a coupe, convertible, wagon, and perhaps even sporty car version. It’s time for that to come back.” 

Why the multiple racist shithead throwaway lines? Scumbag.

Wait, what does this mean?

If you think blue cheese and Parmesan are stinky, boy, do I have some news for you!

A pregnant waitress already got more than the tip.

I guess this is the type of cheese shop she wanted to open underneath her:

Who was there first? The shop or the upstairs neighbor?

Congrats! You’ve passed the Voight-Kampff test. 

I’m going to refer to the bill at a restaurant as the “invoice” from now on.

Salty,

Eh, I’m perfectly happy living in the best possible time to be a human being in all of history, thanks!

I just judge people. I'm very judgey.

Sorry, as a geography teacher, I'm just not getting past the second sentence which somehow placed Connecticut at the halfway point between Montreal and NYC. Does Connecticut have an exclave in Vermont?