SUSPECT: He did security for Snoop.
DETECTIVE: Snoop… Dogg?

He’s amazing on “Another Period.” So many amazing lines.

If Conan were still hosting The Tonight Show, you’d know exactly what joke would take up 2 minutes of this bit. And it’d still be funnier than this.

Whenever this song arises, I’ll never not chuckle, remembering The Sarah Silverman Program’s shocking reveal that “Two Princes” is the *only* song on notorious metalhead Brian Posehn’s iPod!!

Whenever some teen campus conservative or social justice warrior makes the news, I always think how blessed I am that the dumbass thoughts and attitudes I had when I was 19 weren’t published nationally and preserved for eternity with my name attached to them. And my politics haven’t even changed that drastically since…

This movie is gonna make House Party look like House Party 2.

The movie isn’t set in America.

Sinbad already starred in a movie called Shazam as a genie. Now I’m just going to be confused.

Don’t you know the Dewey Decimal System!

The most redeeming attribute of Ebert’s was that he would revisit a film decades later and apply a different rating if he felt he had made an error. He was a truly remarkable professional.

We got no food. We got no jobs. OUR ANIMATRONICS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

Granted, it’s a Major League reference and not one from the Simpsons, but seriously, WTF.

In Cleveland? I didn’t know they still had a team.

Delivering martinis to Spielberg? I knew Hanks was desperate for work, but this is just sad.

She was in the Colonel Angus sketch. Does that count?

“I feel the heat!
Control Alt Delete!”

Can’t do that without positraction (as anyone who’s been stuck in the mud in alabama knows...)

She’s busy having lunch with Adele Dazeem

Netflix went on to say that Bright was particularly popular with subscribers’ Canadian girlfriends.