Are you kidding me?

Men, we need to take responsibility for our actions BEFORE we die so that things like this don’t happen. That’s why I just sat my wife and children down on the couch and told them that when Daddy leaves their mother in a few years for a piece of hot young blond ass, there is NO WAY I will leave them out of my will.

In response, US Soccer said the following in a statement: “We’re going to build a better recruitment and retention system and make Jonathan González pay for it. MAKE USMNT MILDLY COMPETITIVE AGAIN!”

Thankfully we’ve taken the necessary steps to cap-tie Chris Wondolowski numerous times just to fully insure he doesn’t get away from the USMNT.

It’s a really awkward, unfortunate length. Kind of like her marriage.

Here you go:

Here’s the sad little mangy toilet brush:

It would really help readers if you put up an actual photo of the goddamned tree.

While super disappointing, it’s pretty hard to be upset about the judges determining that to be a vote for the Republican. Because c’mon, it clearly was.

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

Mueller should change his name to Robert Transgender Fetus Climate Change and really put Trump in a Catch-22.

You have no idea what you’re saying. There’s no way Jozy puts that ball more than 16 rows up

Impressive. Most teenage boys deliver in under a minute.

HOLY SHIT

WTF take me out of the grays please. I am offended.

What league is that team in?

Over the past year? My dude, if you think it’s just recently happened, you haven’t been paying attention

In England, we refer to it as Football Cricket. /s

possibly the greatest Kinja in history right there