@Samanthrax: These beauty tubes are the same things as the Kiss mascara that people were all over a year or so ago, yes?

Once again I am gonna be lame because I have to go to a party in Evanston.

@rosasparks: My son is the exactly opposite. While he would tolerate being strapped to daddy in the Bjorn, the two times I put him in the sling resulted in protracted screaming fits. I love my 11 lb. stroller.

All 6 of those are better looking than the dented black beast in my kitchen.

He was also on Martha Stewart the other day. Man gets around. Church.

I have difficulty imagining her in a relationship with anybody because I just get her part in Blues Brothers stuck on a loop in my head.

@morninggloria: I once got a lecture on the CTA from some proselytizing Christian-type for reading a book called The Devil's Cup. This book is about COFFEE.

Pritzker may be taking herself out of the running for Commerce according to the Chicago Tribune. Something about being unable to untangle herself from the many and varied Pritzker business holdings to the extend that the Obama administration would require.

@Ptarmigan: Correction: She is the taste in you mouth after you put garlic in your vagina.

Its a good thing I am not going to be on this show because the editors would be super busy cutting out all the footage of me asking if I can touch their hair.

That picture makes me want to play the hell out of some Candyland.

@elwood: Yeah, because cross-posting articles between Jezebel and Deadspin always work out so well.

@dirtybee says we bee obama jammin: For that, I am hearting you.

@stacyinbean: I wish Tim would invite me to Fenway. He's so dreamy...

@ladyjaye75: I know, right? That would make me insanely happy. Hell, I'd be happy with a female umpire. Let's hope this isn't like Blernsball where they only did it for the publicity.

Goddamn I am so, so jealous. My 8-year-old How I am Going to be Just Like Roger Clemens book writing self is pissed. Apparently it wasn't that I was a GIRL, it was because I didn't throw the right pitch.

My 8-year-old self is totally jealous.

Awww, don't hate on DWTS. It's for people like my mom who also enjoys watching cars drive around in a circle for hours on end. It's harmless.

@UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen: Psht. That was all Cheney. I refuse to believe the Bush understands the rules to T-Ball.

@J-No: No kidding. Also, can't anyone entertain the idea that this may have been said in jest?