I once woke a gf by kicking her because she cheated on me in a dream. Same gf I also flying-elbowed bc I had a dream I was wrestling with my little brother. I can only assume those are the sole reasons we are no longer together.

My father tells me that he once awoke to my mother punching him.

“We have used every peaceful and lawful means by which to redress our grievances...”

I read this as Bannon wanting to be able to say “I’m not a racist, just look at this totally-didn’t-realize-it-was-an-interview that I gave unbidden to a well known reporter” after the fact.

I don’t think Donald Trump really is a Nazi, in the same way and for the same basic reasons I don’t think he’s really a Confederate apologist, or a Republican, or a Russian operative, or anything. Honestly, even his white supremacism is a second-order thing, an artifact of the coincidence that he, himself, is white,…

Phew. Good thing I’m bald.

“...I don’t see what’s so funny.”

This is a common misconception among dipshit white assholes: nobody really gives a shit what they think except them.

Speaking as a guy with a daughter about to enter her teens...

...second most important. For most important, you gotta go with germ theory.

Or even more likely, she just decided not to talk to him at all and he assumed that she doesn’t speak English.

I take back what I said about liking most autistic people. You seem like a jerk.

Not only did he dab, he said “Dab” right as he dabbed.

Jesus fuck.

Sliders or GTFO

YPer, reading this.

When I was in high school, I was in a musical which featured... basically an opium-induced hallucination. (It was The Mystery of Edwin Drood, for you theater nerds.) During one scene I was supposed to perform that dirty dancing lift with the female lead.

Not a lawyer, however - my understanding is that a contract is considered invalid if used to an illegal end. If you sign a contract saying that you’ll kill someone if I pay you, I can’t sue you in the event that you fail to deliver the goods, so to speak. Signing an NDA doesn’t mean that you can’t go to the police…

It’s funny that these guys beat the ever loving shit out of each other in every fight, and yet somehow it’s the nurple that made me wince and cover my chest protectively.

That screenshot is actually from the Ghostery product page, but yeah, I hear you.