Any word on whether they were wearing their seatbelts? Air bags are far less important for people who do. On the other hand, what sort of moron doesn’t buckle up when smuggling, why would you give the police any reason to stop you?

Would have said “build a wall # rapists.”

Trump University

Charlie would never have found out anyway, as he don’t surf.

Je suis Charlie.

I hope that intern’s name was Charlie, just for the added irony.

Fire Charlie. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

I’m more upset by the misplaced hashtag than the poor judgement this shows.

Can someone explain to me why Texas is so bad? Great facilities, great state to recruit in, great history, huge fanbase. Doesnt make any sense to me to be so bad for so long.

Just play a game of Madden online then

In their defense, no one could have predicted something bad would happen.

“Snapchat”

Obligatory:

Jesus tap dancing Christ, enough with the portrait videos! What are they teaching kids in school these days?

<insert Takata airbag joke here>

And with all the choking that normally goes on, nobody would even care.

Dehydrated?

God, I have the same problem. I’m always telling chicks “My eyes are up here!” when they try to check out my disgusting mess of a neckbeard.

Maybe this is just the version of Andrew Luck with cable.