I’d rather give her a high-five.

Throw her a basketball. quick.

Quick someone remove that net she is caught in!

Congratulations, Mr. PartyPooper2012, on COTD today! I would like to gift you with a Porsche which this lovely lady will deliver if she can be persueded to take her hands off her chest.

I’m ROVL (rolling-on-the-velour-laughing).

He can’t decide leather or not he likes it.

Under his sheet.

“You know, Morty, that guy keeps saying we can run but we can’t hide. I say we try hiding!”

Cena is rapidly becoming the new Chuck Norris. I kinda like Cena better than Norris, though, so no problem with that.

I think it’d be better if they developed a Sealab 2021 game. I’ve created a new genre, it’s called “survival comedy”. You gotta survive the random antics of your annoying crew mates until you can be rescued.

Runner up? If you’re not first you’re last.

Runner up:

Debate over.

Ford

“Boy I tell ya’, just look at this contract! Now that’s what I call a true game changer. With all its terrific terms and great compensation. You know I was watching this contract being prepared earlier and I gotta tell ya...”

Jon Gruden: See, this guy right here. He’s a guy I like to call “Brokey McFuckstick”, because I make around 40% more annually than-

Ray Farmer may the first person in football history to not come back from a suspension.

The story is obviously fake. The Browns don’t even have 3 NFL starters on offense.

People still say “jelly?”