There’s nothing like seeing wealthy undergraduates to make one want to hoist the black flag and start cutting throats.

Are you homeless and/or Jim Tomusula? Who the fuck brings a cup of soup to a bar?

Oh come on, nobody believes you’ve got friends.

Everyone is entitled to a chance I guess

Genius is oft decried as heresy by those who are butt.

That to me is actually very clever. Because in the phase of your life when you cram your purse with pacifiers and squeaky toys, you can be so overwhelmed that you shove the $100 bill someone just handed you into the bottom of your handbag while you are sprinting to keep your kid from flailing into the street— then it…

#chillKFCisdope&woke

The extremely cynical part of me is thinking they are taking on this case so they can deliberately botch it and/or create an opportunity for bad legal precedent for future cases involving hate crimes against transgender people. To the criminal lawyers out there, can this case, if appealed to higher courts, result in a…

The whole gang is back! Except for Barb. Who is dead.

My cocktails never last long enough to get warm.

Who the fuck keeps a bucket of ice on the dinner table. Are you Bruce fucking Wayne?

Finished an ironman this past weekend and am going to get the obligatory tattoo.

Unilever is the fucking worst. At the height of their shitty Axe ads (remember animalistic women in string bikinis running at a man after he sprayed that garbage on himself, or women pole dancing against a waterpipe because they can smell a man showering with Axe?), they took advantage of women’s and girls’…

How hard is it to sell soap? Good lord.

In this spirit, I wish Blade Runner 2049 was more willing to dispense with nostalgia.

mY lAwYeR FiLeD a moTioN to DiSmIsS sO GoOd luCk WiTH thAt.

you
are being sued
in small claims court
by the above named
plaintiff
you
are directed
to appear for trial of
this claim on
the date
and time
noted to the right
if you
wish
to settle
this claim before the
trial date
you should contact the
plaintiff
or the plaintiff’s
attorney

you made

i

Sometimes
A poem is just a sentence
With line breaks in
Strange places.