There are no human beings that are actually 5'11". If a man tells you he’s 5'11", he’s 5'10" and wants to be 6', and if a woman tells you she’s 5'11", she’s 6' and doesn’t want to intimidate the men who lie about being 5'11". 

This is less about the result and more about the action. Impeachment is always convoluted and difficult to understand. And the only possible result if this is a quick dismissal by the senate.

How the fuck is this inscrutable, complicated, or obtuse, especially now that he’s (inadvertently) confirmed it? This is one of the easiest scandals possible.

I do want to take a moment to pause from all the battles that go on here at Splinter on a daily basis to say seeing that vile and irredeemable piece of human garbage actually starting to worry and maybe, just maybe, feel the walls closing him on for the first time in his entire miserable existence, has been like…

How can I attain that euphoric high of moral superiority via your method, though?

Try scrolling down a funbag on mobile sometime! It’s like the same ad between every paragraph, 20 times in a row!

James Harden deep in the process of changing his name to Aaron A Aaronson

If this is a regular thing I am all for it, but there better still be some Jaguars Junction up in this mix.

It could get some Republicans on board too, truly the last bipartisan issue 

Steve Spurrier raises his hand.

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

I’m going to strongly disagree with Drew on the wedding gift. If you’re in the wedding and you have to travel, then your presence (and the grand you sunk into everything) is your gift to the couple. Anyone who expects a gift after asking you to spend that much money to be a member of their wedding is an asshole and…

Just for fun, someone should tell these 40 something coaches who act like they grew up in the 1950's that being a team player is just a harbinger of becoming a full fledged socialist. It would confuse the shit out of them for a few minutes

Calm down, I am sure Haskins will be out there and break his leg soon enough.

Who’s Blanche and what school she at?

Yeah, I don’t understand how a “100% garbage human” could create and pursue a helpful program like the one on restorative justice he’s doing for Ward (or even helping Ward not being crushed by the system). Myles’s harsh judgment of Caputo has always seemed deeply unfair to me, and partially disconnected with the…

Luschek’s crush on Gloria, that started I think when she helped him teach salsa dancing, was one of the things about him that I actually like and think is smart 

Oh, Joe. I knew his reaction to the MeToo post would be a disaster and he still somehow managed to exceed my expectations.

I realise it’s a huge cast but the fact that Danielle Brooks or Adrienne C Moore have never been singled out for individual awards attention is a bigger crime than anyone’s committed in Litchfield [well, maybe not the murdery ones].