Still my all-time favorite entry from WYTS, from 2014:

I would argue at least half of Batman’s Rouges Gallery is nicer than Richie Incognito. 

Yeah, other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.

Sometimes I read these and think “Wow, Magary’s really funny. He made all these jokes and exaggerations about the Ravens/Bears/Seahawks/Whoever. He’s so clever, that Drew. Ha ha ha ... so, so funny. Deadspin is really lucky to have him. Guffaw”

Whatever you’re paying that graphics guy, it’s not enough. 

“From this alternate camera angle, we can clearly see Thomas’s thumb is extended, as are all five fingers on his left hand. That’s seven fingers, obviously a reference to WTC Tower 7, which mysteriously collapsed on 9/11 despite suffering no direct impact from any plane. This proves that Thomas wasn’t angry with me,…

Old man yells at cloudbased ads

I think Thomas didn’t go far enough. If he wanted to act like a true seahawk, he should have shit on Carroll’s head.

Thomas’s middle finger wasn’t all that hard to interpret

Countercounterpoint: Do some dang trades!

If the rookie helmet fit you must acquit.

My brother in law is a Jets fan.  Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices. 

can we please stop pointing to goddamn polygraphs like they mean anything? might as well call in a phrenologist. 

Lewan really unloads the entire staged-sincerity arsenal

Every time I see that picture he just makes me think of Roy’s mugshot from The Office.

And Marshall, Jeffery, and Forte all got run out on a rail for having the temerity to not enjoy having to play for someone who changed up Cutler’s playbook for like the eighth time. 

“Our quarterback suffered a traumatic brain injury after hosting an awards show in New York City last winter.”

So then why do you keep getting fired?

I remember when the Dolphins hired Adam Gase away from the Bears and us Bears fans were very upset about it because of how great he was with Cutler that year. And then they signed Dowell (not a name) Loggains and he perpetually shit the bed every week while coaching Brandon Marshall, Alshon Jeffrey, and Matt Forte.…

This is what the photographer walked into: