The Toronto Raptors now have the cap space to sign Mitch Marner.

the horny drake watch now just reads “fucked”

“Being overweight is a choice people make.”

As someone who has struggled with their weight since childhood, while I’m sure nicknames like “Hefty Lefty” and “Pillsbury Throwboy” seem harmless and were probably laughed off in public by Lorenzen, they hurt, and play a larger role in him eating his way to 500 lbs than anyone is acknowledging. For some reason,…

Further:

As a fellow “hefty” person, this guy gave us big boned people hope that we may one day reach the peak of mashed potato mountain. RIP big guy. We raise our wings to you.

Well, fuck.

Didn't hear much about him until I moved to KY and then it was constantly that people mentioned him. Only got to see highlights after the fact, but he was a treat to watch. People love him down here.

“Man the 4th of July is really amazing. Sure it’s a bit of hokey, flag humping nationalism, but you really appreciate all the amazing things we enjoy as a country. (Reads Burneko’s dash post) Freedom of press was a mistake.” 

There should be a short dash and a long dash

Dashes ranked.

My wife always uses half the butter that recipes recommend. I resent her deeply for this and make up for it by doubling the butter when I cook for her. 

You’d be wise to steer clear of that defender

Soccer cow has some nice mooves.

It’s “policed as closely” as foul balls, three-point shots, and touchdowns.

The Leafs, though, desperately need and are going to adore Barrie.

If baseball players were half as fanatical about the written rules as they are the unwritten rules there’d be no asterisks in the record books....

Jason Vargas looks like the kind of guy who’s kids go to a school where they get picture grades, instead of letters or numbers.

Sorry fellas, gotta go, I have an Alexander Pope lecture to give at Queens Community College.

A guy I used to know from Atlanta explained that to me a few years ago.  I then explained to him the virtues of holding onto a lead.