Newphonenewburner

6/18/19

It’s a lawless zone where social norms can touch you. I’d go as far as to say that the elusive pre-9am, pre-vacation beer is one of the more Elite Beers in existence.

6/18/19

I once got upgraded to first class on a 630 AM flight. I was so excited, free booze! Being that it was my first time in first class and it was the start of my vacation, I had to take advantage, regardless of the time of day.

6/18/19

I hope the discount was worth....

6/18/19

This probably isn’t even a question. But is there a worst decision than trying to sleep next to your kid? They are 2000 degree pinwheels that make odd noises and twitch nonstop while driving their tiny feet in to your sides.

6/18/19

At my job you get a discount on your health insurance if you take a health screening once a year. They take your blood pressure, measurements, analyze your blood sample and have you fill out a survey then give you a rating of your health from 1 to 100. I keep myself in decent shape. I’m in my early thirties, no…

6/18/19

The primary is the part where you’re supposed to be infighting. The problems come when you forget to stop arguing after the primary is over.

6/18/19

BA, Philosophy/Politics/Economics, Oxford University

6/18/19

there’s just something about the combination of New York and Jets that winds up in disaster for someone

6/17/19

I cannot stop fucking laughing, I am watching this and its giving me Zapruder film vibes but with puke and alcohol and hockey and mid-day sun.

6/17/19

you try keeping down a St. Louis style pizza

6/17/19

...did anyone else think Nermal was a “she?”

6/17/19

Heathcliff was a snitch responsible for the capture and deaths of hundreds of innocent dogs, he sucks

6/17/19

I’m gonna celebrate by mailing Nermal to Abu Dhabi.

6/17/19

THEEEEEEEY

6/14/19

God damn respect to whoever figured out they could take something that wouldn’t sell for $19.95 at Spencer’s gift and rebrand it at three quarters of one million US dollars and sell 30 of them.

6/14/19

“Draymond Green” is always the correct answer to this question.

6/14/19

I hate the Warriors as much as the next guy, but they went to five straight finals and won three of them. If that's not a dynasty, I don't know what is.

6/14/19

Did he shout “Do you know who I am?!”

6/13/19

Thanks for this! I’ve always wondered why there’s been no verifiable documentation and yet she keeps hocking this story - And it was basically the whole backbone (wakka wakka) of her amazing reality show, Hey Paula.

6/13/19

I had no idea she was this qualified to be President.