Just throw out some “God bless it” instead ! I'm lucky my parent swear more than me and my mother is VULGAR in a hilarious way

Anus

Preach. Really, my description of Halloween (black, no family) is how I live my life every day.

Tom & Lorenzo call him “some guy who got kicked out of Fraggle Rock for doing meth”

I am very easily amused and I laughed at this list too.

My great-aunt (we called her The Scary One) was a huge mystery. There were rumors that she fled the Nazis and married my great uncle as a way of getting to the US. She had this huge preserved green bean hanging on the wall in the kitchen. That thing scared the ever living shit out of my sister but then there was this…

He’s still pretty evil. See:Empire

Well now that you say that calling it the “a word” doesn't really work in my head.

That sounds like the most amazing voicemail of all time. I'm one of the people who believes if you're going to insinuate the word you should just use it. I also served detentions constantly for swearing in high school, so maybe people shouldn't take my advice.

Oh my god I love when people say “a word” one of my good friends’ mother grew up in Kentucky and was SUPER religious she never swore never drank nothing. One rime she was picking my friend up from the movies and was getting upset because she wasn’t out when she was supposed to be and she left her a voicemail that…

I read this story earlier on Facebook and all my super religious friends were up in arms that Obama used the “a word”. Granted anything he does makes them flip their shit but I couldn't believe that people were losing their minds over that.

Obama is living his best life right now.

DAMMIT... I don’t wanna defend Kim Kardashian. Ugh. She sickens me in so, so many ways. But I’m going to, because this is not one of them.

My favorite part about Halloween is figuring out how I’m going to work in a cape this year so that I can swan dramatically around my office. Placing a file on someone’s desk is so much more fun when you can make a cape-assisted dramatic exit.

I had a nightmare I was pregnant a few weeks ago and it’s been haunting me. It made me want to go get an IUD immediately even though I have no need for me. I’ve never been and never plan on being pregnant so I really can't even imagine. It gives me cold chills just thinking about it.

For real. You get to celebrate monsters and eat candy. What’s not to like?

Right? It’s a red flag for awesomeness.

Halloween is a holiday that involves wearing black and has no family obligations. If you can’t understand why this is a great thing, you should sit down.

I get the impulse to be inclusive (and correct me if I’m wrong) but.. don’t these clubs exist to make business connections?