Oh, good grief. She means she loves and nurtures her dog (among others). Dont be so self righteous.

I remember showing that Madonna video to my mother when it came out and having to explain everything.

but all at the same time...

AND FIRECRACKERS. Also some sirens. And an airhorn.

or drop a big box of pots and pans...with cutlery...

Anyone else kind of want to be like "YO, speak up!"

I don't find this "relaxing" so much as "chokingly hilarious." Seriously, my face fucking hurts from laughing. WHY DOES SHE KEEP SWAYING AND WAVING HER HANDS AROUND.

Oh yes... I want him to guard my body. With his penis. All over. Up and down. Rock it 'til waterfalls. Eat my skittles.

I absolutely loathe to take South Carolina's side on all matters domestic violence, but part of the reason that they are being sticklers about this law is because the loathable Mike Fair (R-Greenville) wanted to give Stand Your Ground Rights to fetuses. Like, if you thought your kid might be abused by their father,…

I understand your surprise that the cops did their jobs in a sexual assault case but maybe the conversation went something like this....

During his initial campaign for governor, Walker made it clear that he wanted to outlaw abortion even as a life-saving measure. That's right. He thinks that women who are violently hemorrhaging because their pregnancy has gone hideously wrong should be forced by law to die. Because he is a piece of shit.

This is something that I actually get pretty paranoid about when sending links or files to other people. Not that I keep tons of porn around...but it's not impossible that I could stumble across some if I weren't paying attention.

Too many...balls?

They wear short skirts. She, on the other hand, only wears t-shirts.

In a drunken argument with your ex-partner and their ex-best friend after your unsuccessfully negotiated threesome.

Nick's doesn't have an upstairs.

"Cramblett goes on to say that she doesn't know much about black people and it's a lot to learn; in addition, her small Ohio home of Uniontown is "too racially intolerant."

I dont necessarily agree completely with you, but I just have to say that after getting so fucking sick of all this cultural appropriation bullshit I find your attitude immensly refreshing.

Anything that grew up in American culture is fair game to ANYONE. I'm sick of this attitude that this or that is off-limits.