Didn't know calling in dead was a thing. Totally trying that out tomorrow.

Not to mention his sly reference to Trump’s “make America great again” nonsense. Hail to the Chief.

Fuck Euchre. I moved to Michigan 10 years ago, I tried once and I think I seriously pissed some people off with how bad I was.

Euchre is a Michigan thing. It’s in the water. I grew up there. I’m 37 and seriously known how to play euchre for 45 years...

I grew up playing spades but am now forced to play ‘euchre’ thanks to my wife’s midwest childhood.

The fridge for sure.

THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE, GIRL. GET A CABOODLE OR SOMETHING.

What do you think Yolanda is more proud of; her 2 daughters or that goddamn beautiful glass-door refrigerator?

This is seriously the best thing I’ve ever seen. I usually really love the week in tabloids. And this was better.

Some EXCELLENT new plastic surgery was had between seasons.

That poor fucking kid. He must’ve been so proud of what he made and to have his efforts met with such racist suspicion is heartbreaking. He sounds like a great student and every teacher involved in this mess should be thoroughly ashamed.

This.

This. Once, my GF filled up my water bottle while I was in the shower (we have opposite schedules), and even though it’s a wide-mouth Nalgene, she didn’t put any ice in it, just whatever room-tempish cold water came out of the faucet. I mentioned it to her when I got home, and now I fill up my own goddamn water bottle.

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

Is it possible to binge watch a single movie? Am I misguided to think they are made to be watched in one sitting?

I live for the moments when celebrities have strange meltdowns on social media.

I was working at a margarita bar on the water, so winter was slow. We relied on our regulars, a few of which were a group of late twenties bro dudes who would come in for nachos and fish bowl sized margaritas. They were generally ok, except they LOVED to flirt with all of the female staff, despite none of us being…

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

Dear contributors to today’s BCO, I’d like you all to know that you’re the wind beneath my wings, & an inspiration to us all. I promise to skewer a troll in honour of each & every one of you.