If there’s one thing my girlfriend has taught me in the past few years, it’s that Scott would never end up marrying Kourtney.

I dunno... these button up high waisted skirts are super cute and flattering.

presumably, this ad was created on the land bridge that connects Gaza and the West Bank

Wrong India, Columbus.

I had a pretty blonde friend who spoke flawless Japanese. I was with her on an elevator in a Century City office building when some Japanese businessmen boarded and began speaking to one another. They were making bold remarks about our physicality, etc. My friend gave them a beautifully formal “Please have a lovely…

You know, as I think about that incident, I am getting some joy. I had two jobs there, one to provide a statement for my boss, and two to give the police a heads up. I’m in my fifties now and I feel like I am still that person. It’s so cool to connect with every version of yourself, yes?

14 YOs who have to support themselves tend to wise up very early.

What a fabulous read.

I will not pay my parking ticket then because it’s not right. I don’t believe in parking meters.

1) Use the coupons for the hottest salsa you can get.

I had this pair of asshole brothers come in last night and they tipped me in coupons for free salsa because I had “such a sweet and spicy smile”. Their bill was over $100.

Draw me like one of your French girls.

“when the boss is drunk, don’t hold the cheese.”

This is the best 500 days of Kristin yet

Law of averages - given an infinite number of chimps typing an infinite amount of YouTube comments, one of them will eventually be (a) non-racist, (b) funny…

It’s like the universe is creating incidents just for us, only way it could have been better is if she declared that her children were allergic to green.

An amicus brief submitted to the Shade Court In re: Nicki v. Miley-

It’s also Adultosaur’s birthday, Jezebel’s favorite dinosaur!

FACTS ARE THE DARKEST SHADE

Tom Ford has long had an affinity for Los Angeles, its air, its light and its stars. ‘The idea of designing for celebrities was important to me, he says, “even when I was at Gucci.”