samantics
samantics
samantics

Oh no. Here's how being a religious, God-believing person works. You go and you pray to whatever form of God/representative of God you believe in. Then you go and you live your life in a way that speaks to that belief. Then you SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.

Apparently my parents are hipsterer-than-thou. My dad panned for gold and gemstones to make my mom a ring (not her wedding ring, though) almost 40 years ago. You know, before everyone jumped on the bandwagon.

Hipster Level: you've probably never heard of this level.

As long as they're not drinking vaccines, their babies will be fine.

Seriously, fuck that last family. I would have done every unsanitary thing possible to their meals short of giving them e coli, and even then I would consider it.

I just went to check on Kitchenette. I'm so grateful you can read my mind, Pinkham.

Apparently. And they don't look good with anything he's been wearing.

I didn't like The Notebook, but I thought A Walk to Remember was pretty entertaining. Not sure why anyone would care what I think, but there you have it.

I believe these burgers should be free-range, organically grown lentil burgers, salted with the tears of women in drug-free labor. All of us lesbian shit-asses deserve nothing less.

My tip, my tip!

WHERE'S THE BEEF, KATE DRIES? WHERE?

So I guess no one mentioned to the school district that this is happening right now...

"But the truth is, that when a Library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me." Mark Twain

I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE SOUND OF ME GOBBLING DOWN ALL THESE NOTHING BURGERS.

Some parents have requested that the school district stick to the classics.

One of my first full-time jobs was at this incredibly busy hotel kitchen in Rotorua (NZ). We had a bunch of chefs and one of them was this French chef with a really bad temper, he took special delight in terrorizing the dishwashers. The hardest working, worst paid of the staff (aside from the laundry staff, those

There sure is a lot of coded language in that first story...

EXCUSE ME, I AM WEARING DIOR.