Apparently, I have 1 month and 4 days left* to get married. I'm no wedding expert, but countless hours of shameful Say Yes To The Dress viewing while shoveling mac n cheese in my mouth has taught me there is no way I could find a fit'n'flare in such limited time. Monty would pitch a fit. So there it is... pull up a…

If there is a vast Girl Scout Pro-Choice Cookie Conspiracy, killing a fetus has never been so delicious. But alas, unless things have changed greatly since my time in Troop 465, Girl Scouts is probably still about empowering girls by forcing them to run around the wilderness in culottes.

Clue makes it sounds like a delightful game of Colonel Mustard in my uterus with the wrench!

I've been a longtime reader, never commented before. This shit here, though, finally compelled me to post. This is supposed to be a website dedicated to celebrating women. We all know Vogue has a history of altering images, and you very handily provide a list of previously photoshopped covers. So why this cover? Why…