If I were Sofia I would eat those fucking embryos on toast like they were fucking caviar.

Donovan won 70% of the games he coached in 20+ years and has two national titles. That’s not anyone’s definition of short term success.

With that hair, more like a litigator...from 1987.

Short term success?

4-6 months? He should be back for the ECF.

Verizon might have a decent case. They’re probably going to argue that the contract with ESPN violates the Sherman Antitrust Act. Disney won’t let cable companies carry just ESPN. They also have to carry ESPN 2 and a bunch of other channels. Of course, Verizon is doing the same thing to consumers. The whole industry…

I think part of it is that they’re just really loud. I have one cousin who talks and acts exactly like this. ONE cousin. But he’s always the one causing a shitstorm at family dinners, because he and his opinions are so loud and abrasive that it kind of monopolizes the conversation.

“The Baltimore police ask that you remain in your seats while they figure out the best way to escalate the situation.”

It was a very strange conversation - me - the youngest of his four children - advising him not to make a very elementary mistake.

Came here to say this. If you trade a $20,000 car in on a $30,000 car you only pay $795 in taxes where I live, but if you buy the $30,000 car out right and sell your trade in for $23,000 you get an additional $3,000 but you are paying $2,385 in taxes, so really you are only a few hundred bucks up by selling it your…

Next on Fox News: “Why is President Obama spending so much time pole dancing instead of fighting ISIS? Stay tuned for part five of our 17 part series on why Obama is the worst president in the history of everything.”

President Obama dancing around that pole as if it was the Constitution!

Except Cricket, which is the opium fever dream version of baseball

Lacrosse is like watching the slowest, least-talented game of hockey imaginable.

“Chris Rock is a baseball fan.”

The problem with every computerized diagnostic tool is that it depends on how a person “perceives” their symptoms. What separates a mild headache from splitting pain? A lot. But some people perceive their symptoms as worse than they really are or vice-versa.

As a medical student who has used in Isabel in the past for learning purposes through school, I can tell you that it’s a terrible system and wholly inaccurate. It misses a ton of diagnoses and usual gives you worst case scenarios for a bunch. Unfortunately there isn’t a perfect system that currently exists, but there…

If this was Costco, that'd be an amazing deal...but we are talking about a company owned by Walmart.

If this was Costco, that'd be an amazing deal...but we are talking about a company owned by Walmart.

No.

Truly, nothing compares to the hot sting of being reminded that I've endured the lifetime of hardship that comes with being a white man in America. This is some good-ass kinja, cracker.