This is a very very long story, but it seems to make people who hear it chuckle along the way. And, as a former Gawker reader, I haven’t commented on these sites in a couple of years, so why not. It’s late here in Kiev, and I really just want to tell a story.

I used to be more active reading Deadspin and the Gawker world before Gawker.com got shut down and, in combination with the chaos of a move to another country and new job, I kinda tapered off in reading for the last couple of years. But now I’m finding myself reading you all more again and rediscovering Deadspin.

Nice list, but I’m guessing you’ve never been to South Florida.

I had thought the greatest part of the speech was the point after rambling for nearly half an hour Trump finally goes “All right, back to Mike Pence”, but silly me, he then he goes and does that.

They’ll just field a new squad with a few ‘willing’ players from the Ukraine team. They’re not too worried about this.

That’s pretty much up there as the most spectacularly dumb advice I’ve ever heard. Ever. Why would you shovel millions to anybody who thinks this way?

Actually I was pleasantly surprised when I was forced to take Delta trans-Atlantic after years of swearing them off (DELTA = Dammit, Everything Leads To Atlanta / Doesn’t Ever Leave the Airport). I had used European airlines such as Air France, KLM or Lufthansa when I could, for newer planes, a better on-board…

My brain is so fried from work right now that I thought you said this lady had a SL550 pick-up truck. Even though I would have no clue what that custom car monstrosity would look like, I actually thought it was plausible considering most of this article just hammered home the point that gross amounts of money doesn’t…

I’m not sure if works with 100% of these type of light systems, but I’ve found that any card in there works. Obviously you wouldn’t leave a credit card, lol, but any plastic card you won’t need while out and about - frequent flyer or other loyalty card, etc - should work as long as something is in there. Or even if…

Impressive. But more dazzled by the curves an dips of all that Bauhaus font.

Pretty touristy too, but the Erin Rose has a fantstic one as well. And their hot cinnamon butter rum. Hot damn.

Precisely. No chance. All I could think of was Mitch and that make-the-car-smell-funny lever.

Speaking of belly-up, Bennigans went bankrupt a decade or so ago, though I think new management has a new iteration back to around 20 random restaurants in the whole country. Was this ranking here based on teenage nostalia?

Yeah, totally agree. Was riveted by it, mainly because my mom works at a salon/spa in South Florida and the article echoed what she’s experienced in the industry. The racial hierarchy is definitely a thing, and at her spa being: Vietnamese (in the family) first; Vietnamese (not related) next; other Asian (Filipino…

Stretching the definition of tiara, but Missy did it best, IMO

I never realized he was a graduate of the Jacksonville School of Phrasing.

Too bad Trump, being in Iowa, couldn’t have made this balmiest of hot takes a few hours earlier. Surely it would’ve thawed out a beard or two even in the Twin Cities.

I can’t look at this and think of how anybody there couldn’t get past the basic human instinct to see someone’s head mobbed by insects - even if they are monarch butterflies - and want to spring into action help rescue them in some way. I’d be yelling “Head underwater! Put your damn head underwater!” right now.

Biathlon, the mass start event.

The fact that he’s holding his phone and he makes a concious effort to not smash it, saves him from fully planting all 200lbs of him on his wrist and joining these fools 0n Christmas Day.