I’ll just say this: there are few things I’m looking forward to more than the 2017 edition of “Why Your Team Sucks: Minnesota Vikings.”

Mad props.

No, and neither has Ryan Lochte.

Gee Whiz.

We all know Hope Solo shot first.

What the fuck, Magary. Artichokes are fantastic. On their own, steamed and dipped in melted butter. YUM. I don’t know where you are getting your artichoke dip from, but that shit doesn’t have mayo in it. Sour cream, maybe. I make mine with a shit ton of cream cheese and some spinach. IT’S HEALTHY (it’s not). Pickled…

What do you think is the worst vegetable? I say onions. I’ve never eaten something and said “You know what? That could’ve used onions. That would’ve really made it better.” They could disappear of the face of the Earth and I wouldn’t care or notice.

I’M NOT CRYING. YOU’RE CRYING.

Whew. I feel much better knowing Harden won’t have to defend anything here.

When the police asked Malone to described the number of times he was hit in the head, stomach and legs, respectively, he replied "fo, fo, fo."

Zima? Get out of here with that millennial shit. Bartles and Jaymes or nothing.

I hope he left Invisible Tom Brady hanging.

Hot Take incoming: Going off of the list of sports LeBron could excel at from yesterday’s Fun Bag I’m prepared to say that Lebron could have stopped that Messi free kick.

Mid-morning we crawled under the building beneath a sewer line draining a row of boy’s room toilets. I was handed a pipe wrench and was told to remove the plug at the end of the long sewer run. I did.

Notable predictions from Stephen A. Smith’s ancestors:

Goddamn.