For some reason I decided that using a neti pot for the FIRST TIME EVER, immediately after eating Carl’s Jr (aka Hardee’s, depending on what part of the country you live in), was a grand idea. I started laughing so hard upon seeing water streaming out of one nostril (I am easily amused) that I swallowed a ton of salt…

Just remember to put the seat back down after y’all are done today, k?

My wife and I binged on Netflix earlier this month. There is something about the way the competition is set up that makes allows you to become emotionally invested in the outcome each episode. I actually cried right along with winner! I feel like such a goober even typing that.

Yep, that’s the one on Netflix right now! Martha (the 17-year-old) was super adorable. But my favorite was Chetna, the Indian woman. Chetna is <3. She’s making a cookbook and I want to buy it when it comes out!

I met HRC once, on my 21st birthday. I was working at a Clinton Foundation fundraiser at the Museum of Natural History in NYC. They hadn’t told us anything about how the Clintons would enter and I just assumed they would come in the back through some super secret door or something.

The last thing I want when I’m depressed and don’t want to go anywhere is for someone to come into MY space with soup and company, no matter how delicious the soup or how charming the company. When I want to be alone, that’s just what I want: aloneness.

I think what we need to fight for is a woman’s right to make her own health care choices without interference from the State.

When my sister was still fairly able to speak she had to have two people removed from her home because they had come for a visit and had brought along some essential oils, some weird candle and a Bible. They just announced all of a sudden that they were going to pray that cancer away and anoint her with these healing…

Maybe I am naive, but I really didnt expect to see so much bullshit cynicism in these replies. This man just lost his wife, this child her mama, and this lovely woman her life. Have some fucking empathy and maybe don’t try to monday night quarterback the way people choose to deal with the terminal illness of their…

I read the titles and threw my patio chair over the deck railing. I’m not going to chance actually listening to the songs...

I hate cats when they are all moist and rubbery like that. This is a terrible cat.

I’ve heard a lot of guys brag that if they ran, they’d trip over their own dick, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen it happen.

I know we’re not supposed to body-snark, but I’m not a fan of models who are so thin that their torsos start pixelating.

Counterpoint: this is awesome

I’m definitely looking forward to seeing this. Now Bernie Sanders needs to top this by appearing on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, as Danny DeVito’s estranged, radical right-wing older brother named “Bernie.”

Can you pause and think for a minute though how weird it would be to have Steven Tyler as your grandfather? I mean, especially if your other grandparent is a relatively normal person. How does a one year old even wrap their mind around the idea that those two different people hold the same position in their lives?

No, I mean, why is there a building next to her?

Our favourite is “Hell’s bells, Trudy!”. Hell’s bells needs to make a comeback.

“Keep over low flame, season to taste.”