‘Alien’ movie seemed like a lot of fun…until I found Satan was behind the script

Whoever wins … will immediately concede to the other one out of passive-aggressive niceness.

Every time a Fox anchor or Trump aide / advisor gets canned, there should be an oompa loompa song.

*Walks by Trump SoHo hotel, shivers*

Even more insultingly, Pope Francis just sent out an encyclical about how Melissa McCarthy's impression is super funny.

Don't you see? A popular artist that most AV Club regulars dislike is proving herself to be a pretty good person. Her actions must be interpreted as cynically as possible.

POPE: Hang in there, Frank. This is all you have to do today.
TRUMP: Cheese!
MELANIA: Every day I awaken to a fresh horror. What is life? Is not the specter of death that my attire symbolizes not obvious to the wretched buffoons who consume my existence? God is truly dead if indeed this man is his messenger. Also, who…

We need Jerry Orbach to rise from his grave and provide some Law and Order.

They've been Jar-Jarfied by 10%

He'll be at the funeral. He hates people, but he loves gatherings.

Dowd Men Give No A's

It's odd, really. Most franchises hit their stride after 14 years.

Makes sense. Much like Saudi Arabia, Rome is not known for outward displays of affection.

300 was a lot of fun if you ignore the Persian stuff.

Ironically, most of their box-office intake came from non-U.S. residents.

This has been The Teddy Takedown. Tune in next week for another scalding hot take! Who knows what accomplished woman of color is gonna get the business?

Hola, amigos. What's good? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been all sorts of fucked up in Anchower Town. Gettin' out of the joint hasn't changed my perspective too much (and I ain't found a good source for joints since gettin' out either, though that's another story). Good thing I…

This should be a real eye-opener for all those folks on the far right who read Vox.

Minnesota and Indiana are both in the Midwest, and therefore just a short walk away from each other.

Heh heh, those clowns in congress have don- AW FUCK